I’m not over it, it changed me, I’ll never be over it… I’ve accepted this, I just go with it and it makes it easier. It’s surprised me how easy that was to do, just accept it. Acceptance fixes nothing, but it makes stuff easier to handle. Really, try it.
—Old blog post, 07/04/2009
(Source: make-me-smile)
07/04/2009
When I was little, before my dad died, when I’d go visit him, he would comb my hair and put it into a ponytail for me because I was hopeless at doing it myself. He wasn’t much better - I’d always end up looking like a porcupine or something - and I remember being annoyed by that at the time, but now when I remember it, I smile and I feel bad for being annoyed at the time because he was always so gentle while combing my hair - when my mum would tie my hair back for me she wouldn’t care if there were tugs or anything, but he did… and now, I just really miss that, I miss how gentle he was and I miss him. Silly thing is, now I don’t even care if my ponytails are messy because I know now that it doesn’t matter, things don’t have to be perfect..
(Source: make-me-smile)
I want to read and I want to write. I spend so much time wanting to be alone so that I can read and write… and sometimes this worries me, because I could spend my whole life reading other peoples stories and writing stories of people that don’t even exist and miss out on opportunities to go out there and have my own adventures and live my own stories.
—Old blog posts, 07/04/2009
(Source: make-me-smile)
Sometimes I think that love is like God in a lot of ways - something not everyone believes in, something that can be defined differently depending on the person, something we can never fully understand or explain. It’s something we turn to when things are tough, something that can give us hope and terrify us, it can drive people to do great things as well as awful things. It’s something that brings out the best and the worst in people. The difference is, I know I believe in love. Love exists - not so sure about the God thing. God is just a maybe for me.
—Old blog post, 07/04/2009
(Source: make-me-smile)
Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever have that moment. That one moment in my life when I’ll just feel so completely alive, a feeling that blazes so bright that it will just obliterate the sadness and pain of my past, even just for instant… and it will make it all worth it and I’ll be able to die knowing that, for at least one second, I really felt alive and happy. Sometimes I’m certain that moment is a myth but that doesn’t stop me from closing my eyes and imagining it’s real.
—Old blog post, 07/04/2009
(Source: make-me-smile)
